My wife is coming back to me one of these days, I'm sure of it.

So, I can't remember when Heather is returning from Asia, but it must be soon, which means that I won't be needing my blog therapy much longer. Soon, when I have a frustrating story, I can tell her so it seems there won't be much need for this space on the internet.
I actually forgot the date of her return, but to those of you who know me, you know I don't even remember my own age. There are certain numbers you can't control, but some people let the numbers control them. I'm somewhere among the numbers 31-35, but I stopped paying attention at the age of six. It never seemed that important to me unless it was a big number like driving age or old enough to get into a bar.
Before she comes back, I have a story that I would tell her, but she's not around. This morning, I had to get to my niece's baptism, and my father was freaking out that I would be late, so he spooked me. I was driving through a rotary when the person in front of me stopped to let the cars enter the rotary. If you've been outside Mass long enough to forget, stop reading now, cause the story won't make sense.
One of my pet peeves is people who don't take the right of way while driving. You are not doing anyone any favors by letting cars go, you are conditioning them to believe the right of way doesn't matter, and setting a dangerous precedent. This car stopped mid-way through the rotary and sat there to let cars in. Extremely annoyed by this, I didn't say anything, I just zipped around the car and headed on my merry way rapping along with Ice-T's New Jack Hustler (can't help it, it still gets me amped!).
As I got to the next stop light, the car that had stupidly stopped in the middle of the rotary pulled along side me. I have adopted a policy of actually apologizing when I go brain dead on the road, so I was about to tell the the person it was okay she made a mistake. When I rolled down my window, she screamed "WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT!?!"
"Huh?" I replied.
"THAT SH!T YOU PULLED DRIVING AROUND ME!!!"
"Oh," I replied, "did you have the right of way?"
"OF COURSE I DID!!!"
"Maybe next time you should take it. Then every other car on the road won't have to work around your personal traffic laws." I think about things like people stopping in front of me way to much not to have a few barbs ready.
"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DRIVE LIKE AN @SSH0L&!!!" she continued to scream.
As I rolled up my window and waved, cranking Ice T a little louder and cheerily waving I asked her to "have a nice day," then beat her to the merge where she wouldn't think of ramming my old Cherokee with her new SUV and waved cheerily again. As I drove off to meet my family I thought about how she would probably take her rage out on the next person she saw, but the hypertension I caused might shorten her life a bit, so I guess it's a trade off.
I guess I'm lucky I have this blog, because my wife hates it when I tell her things like I hope I caused hypertension in another individual that will eventually kill them. I have worked pretty successfully to be a non-violent person these days, with the exception of killing a few yellow jackets and leaving the bodies as a reminder to hive about who not to sting. Next, I'm going to try to learn to be non-vengeful.